Aug
31
THE winner of our July placard contest is Beaner, who suggested the wording pictured left. He shares the first prize of a year’s free subscription to the Freethinker with Tim Wright, who elicted the same number of votes.
Tim’s suggestion was: Single white male, 70 years old, no sense of humour, seeking similar.
Today, we have a caption contest for the odd picture below, the source of which is unknown.
Amusing entries are sought, rather than gratuitously obscene ones. The deadline for entries is September 30, so get creative now! Again, the prize is a year’s free subscription to the Freethinker.
The Freethinker was founded in 1881 by GW Foote, an outspoken critic of religion. After the publication of 
September 1st, 2007 at 4:41 am
A new take on “duck, duck, goose.”
September 1st, 2007 at 8:41 am
“everyone helped look for the contact lens”
“you need help to kneel when you’re paraplegic”
“Abbaad was sick of propping up his multi-amputee brother”
September 1st, 2007 at 6:00 pm
“You mecca me crazy”
September 1st, 2007 at 9:31 pm
“RECEIVE the LORD!”
September 1st, 2007 at 10:39 pm
“Bugger me,” puffed Mohammed, rapidly running out of rod. “I wish I’d brought more Viagra when I took this job testing models down at the Mecca Outdoor Inflatable Male Emporium!”
September 2nd, 2007 at 5:37 am
“Guys, Mecca is this way.”
September 2nd, 2007 at 10:11 am
Haneef wasn’t really a homo, but he loved helping out when the gays were busy.
and
Martyr Ismail was disappointed to find that Paradise was dirty, dusty and hot - and that his prize of 72 virgins were all hairy-assed men!
September 3rd, 2007 at 2:05 am
“Oh Allah, Oh Allah, OH ALLAH.”
September 3rd, 2007 at 4:38 am
In a truly ironic and near fatal turn of events, Abdul’s attempt to violate his Ramadan fast by weaving a prayer mat of licorice nearly cost him his life when he began to choke on its delicious strands. Luckily, Hussein quickly came to his aid and averted tragedy by applying the Heimlich maneuver, sparing Abdul his karmic punishment.
September 3rd, 2007 at 9:25 pm
Damnit Yusuf!!! Prayer is not the time to practice for your 72 virgins!
Mohammed, not being as powerful as Jesus, accidentally spliced himself on his way down from heaven.
September 4th, 2007 at 1:25 am
Oh get up! There’s nothing special here.
September 4th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
“Unfortunately, the second of the conjoined twins was not admitted to Heaven due to his physical inability to pray properly.”
September 4th, 2007 at 6:34 pm
1. Well that’s my prayer answered
2. Achmed, I know you wanted outdoor sex, but not now.
September 5th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
I think it’s time for the Second Coming
September 18th, 2007 at 9:43 pm
Yussif began to realise this was not really the time to wear his novelty bum-bag