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Middle East earthquakes: It’s the gays what did it

SIX earthquakes have struck Israel and neighbouring Lebanon and Jordan in recent months, with two coming last week alone - and what is to blame? Homosexuality.gaysoldier.jpg

That’s the view of imbecile Shlomo Benizri, MP, of the ultra-Orthodox Jewish Shas party, who, according to the Telegraph, believes that the tremors could be stopped by repealing various liberalising laws on homosexuality that have been passed by the Israeli parliament, or Knesset, in recent years.

Since decriminalising homosexuality in 1988, Israel has passed several laws favouring gay Israelis , including decisions to recognise same-sex marriages carried out abroad, and granting inheritance rights and other benefits held by married couples to gay partnerships.

Last Sunday, to the outrage of the religious Right, the country’s attorney general, Meni Mazuz, ruled that same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt children.

In what Mr Benizri clearly believes is no coincidence, the first of last week’s quakes hit the country just two days later.

Why do earthquakes happen? One of the reasons is the things to which the Knesset gives legitimacy, to sodomy. God says that if you shake your genitals where you are not supposed to he will shake the world in order to wake you up.

In 1999 this crazy god-prodder caused controversy by saying homosexuals were mentally ill. Quoted in the Israeli newspaper Maariv, he said he was “ready to fund the creation of special closed sections for them in psychiatric hospitals.”

Past gay events in Israel have been marred by violent protests, with ultra-orthodox Jews pelting partipants with bags of urine and faeces, and at last year’s Tel Aviv Gay Pride parade an army radio reporter claimed to have heard one of the protesters tell the paraders:

It’s a shame the Nazis didn’t finish you off!

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14 Comments

  1. Will wrote:

    “God says that if you shake your genitals where you are not supposed to he will shake the world in order to wake you up.”

    I find that statement hilarious.

    Sunday, February 24, 2008 at 11:27 pm | Permalink
  2. Buffy wrote:

    I would think that if God were going to be peeved enough to cause an earthquake over something it would be over people murdering one another, worshiping other gods, working on the Sabbath, etc. You know–breaking the 10 commandments (which are supposedly so important). Instead he causes natural disasters over gay people? He is indeed a petty god.

    Friday, February 29, 2008 at 7:31 am | Permalink
  3. Ex Partiot wrote:

    Stupid knows no bounds, it is alive and well all over the world

    Wednesday, March 5, 2008 at 7:51 am | Permalink
  4. John wrote:

    I think if God didn’t like homosexuality he wouldn’t have made it possible.

    Assuming that the zombie person who is his own dad and wants us to telepathically accept him as our leader is real.

    Friday, March 28, 2008 at 5:39 pm | Permalink
  5. Britney wrote:

    Huh, I thought people’d be more apt to blame seismic activity on global warming or something. Certainly didn’t expect a Jewish Fred Phelps.

    Friday, March 28, 2008 at 6:22 pm | Permalink
  6. Roelof wrote:

    If someone should be going to a psychiatric institution….

    Friday, March 28, 2008 at 9:54 pm | Permalink
  7. idan wrote:

    This guy is surely a sad excuse for a human being, but keep in mind that there are all sorts in Israel - I think a higher percentage of the population are atheist and deist in Israel than say in the US, so it’s not all bad. :-)

    Friday, March 28, 2008 at 11:10 pm | Permalink
  8. IGGY wrote:

    Wow is that soldier ever poorly photoshopped…wtf?

    Saturday, March 29, 2008 at 1:36 am | Permalink
  9. If you scratch a homophobe, you’ll find a person underneath who isn’t altogether comfortable with their own sexuality.
    Why else do think the so many prominent gay-bashers in the US turn out to be closeted?

    Saturday, March 29, 2008 at 2:20 am | Permalink
  10. al wrote:

    all the queers are the cause of problems in the world period.

    Saturday, March 29, 2008 at 3:13 am | Permalink
  11. al wrote:

    its no wonder that the younger generation is all messed up having to see gay behaviour

    Saturday, March 29, 2008 at 3:15 am | Permalink
  12. Gay Person wrote:

    Oh no! People are starting to figure out the superpowers us gays possess! Earthquakes, tornadoes, destroying marriages, we can do it all! I only hope AL doesn’t figure out my secret identity. If he’s from AL, he prolly won’t.

    Sunday, March 30, 2008 at 7:31 am | Permalink
  13. Digital wrote:

    “God says that if you shake your genitals where you are not supposed to he will shake the world in order to wake you up.”

    This statement shows so much about their mindset the more I look at it.

    “God says”
    They are speaking for God… but god never said that… so they think they are god. Think about that for a minute: All the worship, they feel it is for them.

    “if you shake your genitals where you are not supposed to he will shake the world in order to wake you up”

    Simple easily rememberable phrases for the simple minded… they live by these. How many simple ‘idiot friendly’ phrases do we hear from this brand of failures on a daily bases? It’s this preaching to the lowest common denominator that makes people feel like they understand and agree.

    Monday, March 31, 2008 at 10:47 pm | Permalink
  14. queerunity wrote:

    most of israel is accepting of gays, it is a shame that right-wing population makes it so dangerous for gays to gather in pride.

    http://www.queersunited.blogspot.com

    Saturday, April 26, 2008 at 8:35 pm | Permalink

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