CHRISTIANS are always banging on about bad stuff on the internet and TV and in the movies – stuff they fear will do lasting damaging to their offspring.
But do they ever pause to think about the enduring harm done to kids by ghoulish RELIGIOUS websites, many of which delight in terrifying their little darlings with grisly warnings of Hell and Damnation?
No, ’course not. Religion, after all, is all about fear – and the quicker fear is induced in the young, the longer it will endure.
One such site is Objective Ministries, which uses Lambuel the godly lamb to bring Jesus to into the hearts of kids. Lambuel
Is devoted to God and knows that Jesus loves him a whole bunch!
Lambuel’s arch-enemy is the grouchy atheist goat Mr Gruff. Lambuel issues this “spiritual safety tip” regarding Mr Gruff:
If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood, TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY! You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however AVOID TALKING TO THEM!
Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God’s Word.
Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.
In the Objective Ministries crafts area, one is taught to make religious objects, origami-style – such as:
A nail just like the ones used by the Romans to crucify Our Lord. A thought-provoking project that will impress upon your children the suffering that Jesus went through on their behalf. Makes a great Christmas ornament! Caution: Pointy edges. Not for children under 5. Requires: 1 sheet of paper or card stock, scissors, scoring tool, glue or tape.
OK, OK – time to come clean. Objective Ministries is a parody site, but the penny only dropped when I read that one of its stated objects was to get the Landover Baptist website shut down:
The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation …. and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.
For this reason, this website was created to try and stop one of the more vile and dangerous misuses of the Internet: using it to mock Our Lord Jesus Christ, His teachings, and His followers. And one site in particular stands out in need of stoppage: Landover Baptist.
Landover Baptist claims to be a church. Moreover, they claim to be the only church in America that understands the Bible! In fact, neither is true. Landover Baptist is a fraud. A joke. Their true purpose is not to spread the Gospel of our Lord, but to trick people - especially those who have not received the Word and Salvation or have been programmed by secular culture to distrust Christianity - into believing that Christianity is evil and rejecting it.
For this blasphemous atrocity, the Landover Baptist website must be removed from our Internet.
This however, is not a spoof:
IF you actually want do the crossword, go here.
CROSSWORD HAT TIP: Robert Stovold
5 Comments
If only they were all spoofs. As they’re not, and there is now so much hideously offensive material designed to frighten children into compliance on the internet and elsewhere, there’s a petition on the Downing Street website to raise awareness about this. It’s accessible via http://www.stopthenightmares.org.uk.
Try this for an insight into the stuff ‘loving Christians’ peddle in an attempt to brainwash and terrify children:
http://www.youtube.com/v/WDy0lY62me4&hl=en
Ok, I’m confused… Which one is the parody, Landover Baptist, or Objective Ministries…
Seriously, they’re both very frightening, and even more so because I can’t figure out which is real, if either!?
P.S. I’m not trying to be funny, I’m honestly confused.
If that really was a parody site, the headline is quite inappropriate, I think.
¡Peace!
Ed, both are parody sites, but so close to the real thing as to confuse millions; and to Jesustc I would argue that the headline is not misleading. The point of the post was to emphasise the psychological damage done to youngsters by some religious sites. The parody sites simply mirror the dangerous nonsense contained in the genuine sites. I believe that, because so few people are able to distinguish between the spoof sites and the real ones, the parodies may themselves be risky.
It never fails to amaze me that there’re christians who won’t let their kids near harry potter but are more than happy for them to watch the passion of the christ which when it all comes down to it is a gorefest in the same vein as the evil dead trilogy, texas chainsaw massacre and Ichi the killer.
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