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‘Unity and diversity’ thwarts God’s Great Plan, says mad fundie

TODAY’S posting was prompted by this intriguing Reuters photograph: The imbecile Bush whispering something to Kurt Carr – who looks a bit nonplussed at finding himself in the President’s clutches during a ceremony in honour of Black History Month at the White House in mid-June.

Being of an enquiring mind, I wondered who the poor, bespectacled victim was.

Well, according to Jesus-Is-Savour.com, Carr is:

One of the most popular and successful African-American Gospel entertainers in the world today.

Cool – if you’re into the saccharine, touchy-feely variety of Christianity.

But then comes the sucker-punch. JiS does not like Carr. In fact, JiS’s David J Stewart – an “expert” on the subject of “Satanism and immorality in Rock and Roll” – has nothing but a mouthful of contempt for the popular gospel singer.

Fundies, as we all know, detest all sorts of things, but why should Carr – a Christian – incur Stewart’s wrath?

Because Carr – “a false prophet” – uses his music to promote “unity and diversity”.

The singer is quoted as saying:

The purpose of my ministry is to bring unity to the body of Christ. It’s also to create more diversity and unification among the different races and cultures.

Is that a bad thing? You bet!

Stewart, clearly a first division lunatic, fulminates:

We are living in perilous times of woeful apostasy. Never before have we witnessed so many so-called ‘Christians’ who live like the sinful world, look like the sinful world, talk like the sinful world, and fraternise with the sinful world. Kurt Carr is no exception … He is a phony and should be avoided by all Christ-honouring Christians. Anytime some so-called ‘Christian’ is spouting off about unity and diversity; but they never mention Biblical separation, you know the Devil is involved (sic).

Another of those confusing parody Christian sites? Nope, this one’s far too illiterate and badly constructed to be a spoof.

Stewart continues:

I dare you to show me anywhere in the Bible where such a ministry is mentioned. Is this what God wants? Does God want to unify the races and cultures of the world? No! The biblical account of Babel is clear proof that it was God who segregated mankind. This was for mankind’s own good, because when men unite – it’s always against God. Study the great men of God throughout history and you’ll find that they always stood ALONE, were very unpopular, and the world hated them with a passion.

Errr … like Stephen “Birdshit” Green?

Carr deceitfully speaks of seeking to bring unity to the body of Christ; but then infers that such unity means uniting the cultures and races of the world. No, that is heathendom. The only way to achieve unity amongst the human race is through idolatry, where each member submits to a New Age god. The Bible-believing Christian will NEVER unite with unbelievers, or with other believers who are worldly.

At this point exasperation – and a headache induced by the site’s nightmare typography and migraine-inducing colours – overtook curiosity. I powered down the Mac, headed downtown to hook up with a few fellow heathens, and washed the bad taste out of my mouth with several idolatrous scotches.

Read the rest of the barmpot Stewart’s ravings here – then thank your lucky stars that you were never tempted to surrender your wits to God.

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21 Comments

  1. Roland deschain wrote:

    Bush - In the name of Jesus Heeeal….I say Heeeal this mans bulging eyballs.

    Tuesday, July 1, 2008 at 9:31 pm | Permalink
  2. Dan Sample wrote:

    Dag nabbit, I just can’t quit you!

    Tuesday, July 1, 2008 at 10:41 pm | Permalink
  3. Michael Cohen wrote:

    i think armagedan will come about becourse all these Christian Nut case fruit bats will end up nucking each other –ALL IN THE NAME OF JEEESSSSUUUSSSS

    Tuesday, July 1, 2008 at 10:52 pm | Permalink
  4. ziggy wrote:

    Suggested Caption: Bestowing the Priestly Benediction

    Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 7:08 am | Permalink
  5. Roland Deschain wrote:

    Bush - …and this is how I suck atheist’s eyes out of their sockets.

    Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 10:10 am | Permalink
  6. Ryan wrote:

    Jesus is saviour cannot possibly be a real website - I refuse to believe that it is possible to be that demented. If that is the case then there is no hope for humanity.

    Caption - I get off work in an hour.

    Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 11:07 am | Permalink
  7. Haz wrote:

    Bush- Braains!

    Thursday, July 3, 2008 at 12:11 pm | Permalink
  8. Stuart H. wrote:

    Black History Month - was that the one when the police stopped blacks voting in Florida?

    Thursday, July 3, 2008 at 12:13 pm | Permalink
  9. Roger wrote:

    Caption: Bush - “Are there any WMDs in there ?? Nope, just religious bullshit and no brains…it’s like looking in a mirror !!”

    Thursday, July 3, 2008 at 2:58 pm | Permalink
  10. Marcus wrote:

    Bush: “Trust me son, I’m a frendoljismist - er fiengoloist er … oh fuck it, I can read the bumps on your head!

    Thursday, July 3, 2008 at 8:39 pm | Permalink
  11. Pramod Subbaraman wrote:

    a caption?

    Well, let’s try a couple shall we?

    1. Kiss the Bushman

    2. Bush: “I wanna eat yer brains out”

    Friday, July 11, 2008 at 3:08 pm | Permalink
  12. Marc wrote:

    I want you inside me.

    Saturday, July 12, 2008 at 3:26 pm | Permalink
  13. John M. wrote:

    Caption:
    It works well on my spectacles. Just wipe the mist off with a tissue.

    Saturday, July 12, 2008 at 6:07 pm | Permalink
  14. Heathen&Godless wrote:

    CAPTION

    Guess what? Titties and Beer, they exist”

    Sunday, July 13, 2008 at 12:19 am | Permalink
  15. Heathen&Godless wrote:

    Caption

    “I just bought a dvd rewinder”

    Sunday, July 13, 2008 at 12:19 am | Permalink
  16. Giljorak wrote:

    1. It’s a Frackin’ Cracker.

    2. This one time at band camp……

    Sunday, July 13, 2008 at 1:36 am | Permalink
  17. Chris wrote:

    Taking in consideration that G.W. is probably quite paranoid about his “ethnically challenged” successor, and that the room was probably filled with black people (ceremony in honor of Black History Month), I think all he could utter at the sight of the masses was

    “I see black people…”

    Finally G.W, you go boy!

    Sunday, July 13, 2008 at 7:09 am | Permalink
  18. Ben Christie wrote:

    Caption competion

    Bush - ‘He he hey Kurt, look how shiny that guys head is! Do you think God can see the glare?!

    Ps: By the way I do realise the irony
    of my initials and my last name!

    Monday, July 14, 2008 at 7:23 pm | Permalink
  19. Ben Christie wrote:

    Bush - ‘He he hey Kurt, look how shiny that guys head is! Do you think God can see the glare?!

    Ps: By the way I do realise the irony
    of my initials and my last name!

    Tuesday, July 15, 2008 at 8:31 am | Permalink
  20. Bede Rodeghiero wrote:

    Now Robert, are those my glasses? But anyway, we like what you’re doing in Zambia.

    Friday, July 18, 2008 at 5:48 am | Permalink
  21. ziggy wrote:

    Dear Barry, Am I right in saying that the promised prize for the best Caption has not been announced as at date hereof?

    Thursday, August 14, 2008 at 12:03 pm | Permalink

2 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Freethinker › A little fun for the weekend on Saturday, July 12, 2008 at 9:00 am

    [...] We used the picture on the right in an earlier post, and invited captions. You can see what others have submitted in the comments section here. [...]

  2. The Freethinker › Beat this for a barking idea! on Wednesday, October 8, 2008 at 8:01 am

    [...] about giggles and fun, both were produced in abundance when we launched our earlier Bush caption, and kidnapped cracker, [...]

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