BIRMINGHAM Cathedral wants to launch a chain of cathedral-style wine bars in a bid to attract more worshippers.

The idea is part of a push to re-vitalise the image of the famous cathedral and to market it in the 21st century.

But traditionalist groups say it reeks of ‘desperation’ and will be ineffective in spreading the true Christian message.

A gay couple in a church-themed bar in Spain (see context below). Photo: Barry Duke.

The idea is the brainchild of Mark Hope-Urwin, a former executive of the department store chain John Lewis.

He suggests a chain of cathedral wine bars throughout the city featuring stained-glass windows and religious motifs. All bars would be kitted out in ‘episcopal purple’ and would support a loyalty card scheme.

He didn’t reveal whether the bars would be well-hung with figures nailed to a cross,  but did say:

We’re not trying to encourage drinking, but the cathedral has to engage more with the city and find ways of meeting people on their territory. Cathedral wine bars should be seen as a potential commercial operation with profits going into the upkeep of the building and paying for evangelistic work.

This isn’t about turning the cathedral into a big money-making machine, but we have to think of how we can change and spread the brand.

But, according to this report, Rod Thomas, of the conservative evangelical group Reform, has steam coming out his ears:

It sounds more like desperation than a form of outreach. I can’t quite see the link between the wine bar and the gospel.

Errrr … water into wine, old dear?

If they are simply making images of Christianity and images that are connected with Cathedrals then I don’t see how this helps anyone understand the Christian message.

Bar gays and lesbians, sweet lips, then they’ll soon get the Christian message.

If it doesn’t help anyone understand the Christian message then what on earth are they in business for? However, if they were setting up wine bars and there were staff there to talk to people and explain the faith then that is a different matter.

WHAT? Bars operated by evangelists? That’ll bring the punters flocking!

The report immediately brought back memories of a Catholic Church themed bar which opened in Spain, close to Benidorm, after the country’s dramatic transition from fascist dicatorship to liberal democracy.

These pics capture the atmosphere of the Catholic themed bar that opened near Benidorm. Photo: Barry Duke

Packed to the rafters with Catholic iconography, the huge bar proved an instant hit with young Spaniards who came in their droves to be served from “confessionals” by “nuns” – gay men in habits. They lit their cigarettes and spliffs from altar candles, and scattered fag ash over Bibles in a liberating demonstration of their contempt for a Church which had given its full support to Franco’s fascist dicatorship.

I was there at the opening to share in the joy of Franco’s death, and the end of fascism in Spain.

It was one of the most satisfying, uplifting experiences of my life – although Catholic traditionalists all along the Costa Blanca were reaching for their heart pills when they learned of the new venue.

Perhaps Birmingham’s boozers should follow suit, and use the wine bars not as places of devotion, but to take the piss out of an increasingly desperate Church of England.

Shame they won’t be able to light fags from altar candles, though, what with the smoking ban in Britain.