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Birthday parties? They’re OK for infidels, but forbidden to Muslims

HONESTLY. You’d think this was officially Mad Mullah Week!

First off this week we had a crazy a Muslim cleric – Muhammad Al-Munajid – bust a blood vessel over scantily-clad females participating in the Olympic Games.

Then along comes the cosmetically-challenged Grand Mufti Abdul-Aziz al-Shaikh, of Saudi Arabia, who this week declared that celebrating events like birthdays and anniversaries would put Muslims on par with people of other faiths including Jews and Christians.

The Grand Mufti, who looks as if he could eat an apple through a letterbox. Why, oh why doesn't someone stick him in a burqua?

The Grand Mufti, who looks as if he could eat an apple through a letterbox. Please put this creature in a burqua!

And what a tragedy that would be, as everyone knows Islam is so much more superior to anything in the multiverse!

According to this report, Shaikh entered the celebrations debate when a more enlightened Saudi cleric, Salman al-Awdah, told a TV audience that birthdays and anniversaries were not against Islam.

Oh yes they are, brayed Shaikh, who appears as if his mother may once have had a close encounter with a camel.

Declaring such celebrations contrary to Muslim “righteousness”, he firmly contradicted his colleague’s views.

Shaikh, who embraces the hardline Islamic doctrine of Wahhabism, said that only two occasions merit celebration in the Muslim world: Eid al-Fitr, which marks the end of the fasting month of Ramadan, and Eid al-Adha, which marks the end of the annual haj pilgrimage.

Oh what a joyous religion Islam is!

Posted by Barry Duke @ 10:19 pm

Evils of religion spelled out in landmark gay discrimination case

RELIGIOUS intolerance has generated more wars, misery and suffering than any other type of disorientation or bias. In the name of this or that deity, for the glory of a divine cause or in order to settle abstruse theological disputes, human blood has been shed for thousands of years.

Those were the astonishing concluding remarks of South African senior counsel, Ronel Tolmay, in a landmark case in the Pretoria High Court yesterday where a gay music teacher is claiming damages from the Dutch Reformed Church in Moreleta Park, Pretoria.

Organist Johan Strydom, as we reported earlier, was booted out of the church after it was discovered that he was gay. As a result of his treatment, he brought a civil action against the DRC under the Promotion of Equity and Prevention of Unfair Discrimination Act.

Gay organist Johan Strydom. Photo: Leon Botha, Beeld

Gay organist Johan Strydom. Photo: Leon Botha, Beeld

Tolmay said the right to freedom of religion could only be protected if tolerance of opposing opinions was shown.

She acknowledged that people honestly held certain opinions – like believing that it was a sin to be a practising homosexual – but she also cited a case in which a fundamentalist group some time ago wanted to stone an adulterous woman to death because she acted contrary to their religious beliefs.

This is what happens when honestly held opinions are allowed – and this is the reason why we have a constitution to protect people.

Tolmay asked Judge Dion Basson not to make a moral judgment on the issue. Instead, she said, he should follow the law and the provisions of the constitution, which clearly indicated that Strydom was discriminated against.

But senior counsel for the church, Johan Louw, argued that equality considerations should not be allowed to trump the core beliefs of spiritual leaders.

Louw said that the congregation had interpreted the Bible as saying that homosexuality was a sin. He said in light of its right to freedom of religion, it was thus irrelevant what others’ interpretation of the Bible may be

He said Strydom must have been aware that the church regarded homosexuality as a sin and expected a celibate life of all homosexuals in leadership positions, including the lecturers in the music academy.

One of the congregation’s ministers, Dominee Dirkie van der Spuy, said it was stated clearly in the Bible that homosexuality was wrong.

He said the congregation did not discriminate against Strydom merely on the grounds of his sexuality, but rather because he was “an active homosexual”.

Van der Spuy said if Strydom chose to live a celibate life, he would have remained in his job, adding that the congregation had a programme developed to assist homosexuals.

Judgment in the case has been reserved.

See full reports here and here.

Posted by Barry Duke @ 9:00 am

‘Cancer-stricken’ pastor exposed as a lying son-of-a-bitch

IS there no depth to which some Christians will sink?

An Australian pastor-cum-singer who rose to fame with the claim that he was suffering terminal cancer, which inspired him to write a hit evangelical pop song, has just been exposed as a fraud – and a man with “a severe porn addiction”.

Lying pastor Michael Guglielmucci

Lying pastor Michael Guglielmucci

According to this report, Michael Guglielmucci, of Planetshakers Church in Melbourne, told worshippers, friends and his own family that he was likely to die from the disease.

He claimed his hit song Healer, which was included on mega-church Hillsong’s latest album, came to him as a “gift from God” on the day the diagnosis was revealed.

It propelled Mr Guglielmucci, formerly a pastor with Melbourne-based church Planetshakers, to the forefront of Australia’s Christian youth movement.

His “suffering” even led one blogger to tell his story thus:

[His cancer] struck him pretty bad till at one point there were about 30 bones fractured in his body due to the disease. He was in pain all over his joints and bones. At that time, the doctor told him that he could live another 3 months plus.

One thing for sure, Mike didn’t give up on God. His faith was taken to a higher level and he never ceased to praise God undoubtedly. Even on a wheelchair, he has written even more beautiful songs to worship God and one of it is Healer. Mike has so much faith in God and even if he has to be called home early, he accepts it as God’s will.

Today, I see a whole new Mike. He could even preach and sing in the most recent Hillsong Conference. This has proved to many of us that God is alive and He can do ALL things POSSIBLE!

But the story was an out-and-out lie

A statement from Australian Christian Churches Vice President Alun Davies said Mr Guglielmucci, now living in Adelaide, had admitted to fabricating his cancer story.

Representatives of the National Executive for the Australian Christian Churches recently met with Michael Guglielmucci. At this meeting, he read a statement indicating that his claim to have cancer was untrue. His credential with the Australian Christian Churches was immediately suspended.

In one Hillsong video, subtitled in Spanish and posted to YouTube, the pastor described his made-up cancer diagnosis in meticulous detail.

I went to the hospital expecting to have some tests and got the news that I had cancer, and quite an aggressive form of cancer. I walked into my studio at home and for some reason pressed record, which was a good thing … I just sat at a piano and began to worship.

In an e-mail sent to Hillsong members yesterday, the church’s general manager George Aghajanian said the news was even a shock to Mr Guglielmucci’s own family.

The suspended pastor was seeking professional help, the e-mail said.

Planetshakers spokesman Darryn Keneally said his church was “devastated by the elaborate hoax”.

He said Mr Guglielmucci would make reparations to anyone who gave him money because of his made-up sickness.

Despite being exposed as a despicable fraud who preyed on the emotions of his followers, there are still dupes out there who support the lying son-of-a-bitch.

One barely-literate message posted on YouTube, under his puke-inducing rendition of Healer, said:

Praise God! Mike is not dieing of cancer. We should rejoice with Mike and his loved ones that he is well in the physical. Then … we should extend GRACE. Jesus said in John 8:7 “‘The sinless one among you, go first: Throw the stone.’ The Message. We all have the potential of committing the vilest offense. Jeremiah 17:9 says ‘The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?’ NKJV. Let’s continue to pray for Mike Guglielmucci and his family. Love will see us through.

Oh yuck!

Update: August 22, 2008 – Guglielmucci is now in the care of a trick cyclist.

HAT TIP: Albert Ross

Posted by Barry Duke @ 11:40 am

Farewell, Leo Abse, gay rights champion and flamboyant troublemaker

THE man who changed the world for the British gay community through his unstinting efforts to decriminalise homosexuality in the 1960s, died this week aged 91.

But Leo Abse, Labour MP for Pontypool from 1958 until his retirement at the age of 70 29 years later, was much more than just a gay rights champion. He was also the power behind a series of social reforms during the 1960s that included the end of criminal prosecutions for attempted suicide, the abolition of capital punishment, reforming divorce law, and the legalisation of abortion.

Leo Abse and his wife

Leo Abse and his wife Ania

To bigots, ‘decency’ campaigners and anti-abortionists, he was the Devil Incarnate.

A dedicated secularist, Abse sent the following message of support to the National Secular Society on the occasion of its centenary in 1966:

When the irrationalities of racial and religious fanaticism still so manifestly abound, there is no less need now than 100 years ago for an organisation speaking up … for humanism against state prejudices.

Former Labour Prime Minister James Callaghan was surely right to say that Abse has done:

Much more good in terms of human happiness than 90 percent of the work done in Parliament on what is called ‘political issues’.

In 2008 Britain’s leading legal historian, Professor Stephen Cretney QC, a former Law Commissioner and Senior Research Fellow of All Souls, in his book Looking Back - Looking Forward: 150 Years of Family Law, OUP (2008), lauded Abse as a legislator who was a creative iconoclast and wrote of his contribution in the following terms:

Leo Abse: the most effective Law Reformer in 20th century Britain? One man, Leo Abse, a Cardiff solicitor, and a Labour Member of Parliament for the Welsh Constituencies for nearly 30 years, is an outstanding example of such a person: in Family Law in the twentieth century, A History I describe him as a ‘brilliantly skilled master of parliamentary procedures’ who ‘probably had a greater influence on the development of law relating to family matters than any other MP in the twentieth century.’ That is wrong: the word ‘probably’ should be deleted.

Abse – for the umteenth time in his life – raised eyebrows when he married Ania, a Polish woman 50 years his junior in 2000.

In a Telegraph interview in December 2006 entitled Growing Old Disgracefully, Abse, then nudging 90 and still furiously writing and researching books, declared:

How do I feel? I feel like a man of 90! Anyone of my age who says he feels 21 is in denial. My physical incapacities are a constant reminder of my age and only my wife saves me from them. You can continue to live and be productive providing you have love.

Posted by Barry Duke @ 10:31 am

‘Virtuous’ vigilantes grow more aggressive in Israel – and it’s ‘down with mini-skirts’ in Mexico!

YESTERDAY we posted a piece about the imbecile Muslim cleric Muhammad Al-Munajid banging on about provocative female flesh at the Olympic games.

Today we have more crap from ‘purity’ pillocks stretching from Israel to Mexico.

Haaretz reports today that the activities of Israel’s “modesty guards” – a “virtuous” band of ultra-Orthodox Jewish vigilantes working to eradicate so-called immodest behaviour in Haredi areas –are growing more aggressive.

With aims similar to those of Saudi Arabia’s Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice (Mutaween), they are going as far as to break into the homes of those whose lifestyles they disapprove of.

One of the guards has been arrested for an attack by several of the vigilantes on a secular Jewish woman, whose home they entered.

In a rare TV interview, a member of the Modesty Patrol – which has also been accused of roughing up women who refuse to sit at the back of buses – said the organisation enjoys the support of rabbis and the police.

Meanwhile, in Mexico City, a Catholic priest has caused outrage among some Mexican women, who say the Roman Catholic Church is making it easier to justify sexual violence against women by suggesting that women in mini-skirts were prostituting themselves.

Mini-skirts like this have upset a Mexican Catholic priest. Oh dear, this appears to be a man

Mini-skirts like this have upset a Mexican Catholic priest. Oh dear, this model appears to be a man.

According to Yahoo News, the Rev Sergio G Roman sounded warned against miniskirts in an online publication to prepare Catholics for a church family-values forum next year in Mexico City.

When we show our body without prudence, without modesty, we are prostituting ourselves.

Mexican newspaper columnists lampooned the article, and women’s rights advocates have attacked it.

Guadalupe Loaeza, a renowned Mexican social commentator, said she worries the priest’s statements will be taken seriously and make it acceptable to blame the victim.

It gives rapists permission to say, ‘Well, she had on a miniskirt’. What the church says has credibility — that’s why this type of statement is so dangerous.

Roman’s statements echo recent comments by government authorities elsewhere in Latin America and the Caribbean.

A police superintendent in Jamaica called on women last week to dress with greater modestly to curb rapes on the island.

After an 8-year-old girl was gang-raped by five men at a market in Montego Bay, Steve McGregor blamed rapes this summer partly on girls wearing short shorts and tiny bathing suits.

McGregor was criticized by a Jamaican group that monitors the portrayal of women in the media.

Said Afola Shade the director of Women’s Media Watch.

It’s time we stop penalizing the victims. There are men raping babies. Can babies dress skimpily? I think it’s time we stop this foolishness now.

Hat tip: Michael Cohen.

Posted by Barry Duke @ 7:12 pm

Satan’s behind all that bare Olympic flesh

IF YOU needed only ONE reason to fear and detest Islam, it would be the bearded freak pictured here.

mmmmmmmm

Saudi cleric Muhammad Al-Munajid

This, dear readers, is Saudi cleric Muhammad Al-Munajid, who has again kicked off about Western decadence.

Al-Munajid has been watching the Beijing Olympics – and he is appalled at all the exposed flesh he seen. Female flesh, that is.

According to this report, in an interview aired on Al-Majd TV on August 10 and translated by the Middle East Media Research Institute, the unhappy cleric slammed the Olympic Games - past and present - for its debauched display of women’s bodies.

The world’s worst display of women’s clothing is the women’s Olympics. No exposure of women’s private parts on a global scale could make Satan happier than Olympic games that include women’s sports.

The fool ranted on:

What women wear in the Olympic games are among the worst clothes possible. The inventions of Satan, with regard to the exposure of the body in gymnastics, in swimming, in whatever, in tennis … Women have never got naked for sports like they do in the Olympics. It is aired to billions of people worldwide. The problem is not just with the spectators who are present. The whole thing is aired on TV…”

Oh, poor diddums … did the nasty female competitors give you wood, or is that what your head’s made of, you twat!?

In 2007, the mad cleric got his knickers in a twist … over knickers.

In an interview aired on Iqra TV on July 26, 2007 Al-Munajid declared:

There are rules of shari’a in everything. We have counted almost 70 rules about how to urinate and defecate. In contrast, how do those beasts in the West answer the call of nature? They stand in front of other people, in toilets at airports and other public places. They do not care about covering their private parts. Even their underwear is coloured and not white, so it can conceal all that filth.

Oh, and:

Humanity can have no happiness without Islam. Humanity can enjoy no goodness, unless the sun of monotheism, the Koran, and the Sunna shines upon it. The world without the sun of the divine revelation is a place of eternal darkness, as we can see today – a world of frustration, collapse, injustice, arbitrariness, and wrongdoing. The world today is a jungle – a world of barbarism of all kinds. People in many parts of the world are not happy, because they do not walk in the path of Allah.

This brilliant Jesus and Mo cartoon says it all.

Posted by Barry Duke @ 9:43 pm

Has ‘Flesh’ Fire Ministries hit the skids? Here’s hoping …

GOOD news –Todd “Bam” Bentley’s assault-and-battery Fresh Fire Ministries in Florida starts this week with egg all over it face.

Todd Bentley, who has been to heaven and met the apostle Paul.

Todd Bentley, who has been to heaven and met the apostle Paul.

Christian “revivalist” Bentley – a beefy, bearded, tattooed biker famous for exclaiming “bam” as he physically beats or kicks disease out of frail dupes in search of healing – has allegedly been engaged in some inappropriate off-stage “bamming” with a woman who wasn’t his wife.

A few days back, according to this report, Fresh Fire Ministries announced that Canadian Bentley had separated from his wife, Shonnah.

It is with considerable sadness [we bring] the sobering news that Todd and Shonnah Bentley are presently experiencing significant friction in their relationship and are currently separated. We want to affirm that there has been no sexual immorality on the part of either Todd or Shonnah, nor has there ever been.

Oh, yes, there was!

This announcement was followed up with an embarrassing update:

Since our last statement from the Fresh Fire Board of Directors, we have discovered new information revealing that Todd Bentley has entered into an unhealthy relationship on an emotional level with a female member of his staff. In light of this new information and in consultation with his leaders and advisors, Todd Bentley has agreed to step down from his position on the Board of Directors and to refrain from all public ministry for a season to receive counsel in his personal life.

Time to rename this money-grabbing circus of cons and hard knocks “Flesh Fire”, we think.

On behalf of the Fresh Fire leadership and the Board of Directors we wish to apologize to our friends and partners and to the larger body of Christ and to ask for your forgiveness. We are truly sorry for the pain many of you must feel and so regret that in the midst of great revival, the enemy has found a way into our camp.

Well, what a surprise. Satan was responsible – again!

It could have been worse for Flesh Fresh Fire, of course. Many evangelists fall spectacularly from grace when caught “bamming” ladyboys or male prostitutes. Mercifully, Bentley is not one of those! He’s too damned unattractive to be out fingering soft furnishings. That said, we do know a few chubby-chasers who’d love a close encounter with him.

Todd Bentley is nothing if not colourful. Flesh Fresh Fire –“an international ministry called to global harvest”, whatever the hell that means – reveals that, in his late teens, Todd had:

A dramatic encounter with the saving and delivering power of God. This experience brought Todd out of a lifestyle of drug and alcohol addiction without cravings or withdrawal symptoms. He was also delivered from a lifestyle involving criminal activity, youth prisons, drugs, sex, satanic music and bondage …Todd was instantly transformed into a radical disciple and soul-winning evangelist for Jesus.

They forgot to mention that his criminal activities as a teenager also included:

More than one instance of ‘heinous’ sexual molestation.

He is also a terrible fantasy merchant.

Not only has he never produced a single shred of evidence to support his “miracle” cure claims, he asserts that he has made several trips to Heaven where he had meetings with Paul the Apostle.

Watch Bentley in action as he “cures” a man of cancer by kicking him in the stomach – hard!

YouTube Preview Image
Posted by Barry Duke @ 6:43 pm

South African church lied about the Biblical justification for White supremacy

THE despicable, anti-semitic, anti-Black, Nazi-loving Dutch Reformed Church of South Africa – principle architect and stout defender of racial segregation – preached for decades that the separation of the races had been ordained by God.

An out-and-out fascist organisation, it claimed to have found ample justification in the Bible for supporting the country’s vile, White supremacist apartheid system – and closed the doors of its White churches to all non-Whites.

A classic joke – still doing the rounds – about the old South Africa’s insane colour bar concerns a DRC dominee (minister) who enters his church one morning and finds a black man on his knees at the altar.

Minister: Hey boy, what the hell are you doing in my church?

African man: Just, cleaning, baas.

Minister: Oh, ok kaffir – but I am warning you that I ever catch you praying in here I will beat seven kinds of shit out of you!

Today, my jaw dropped when I learned that a genuine minister from the DRC – or Much-Deformed Church as those of us who knew and passionately loathed the institution dubbed it – now states that the Bible never mentioned apartheid – an astonishing admission that the DRC had LIED to its congregations right up to the point when a democratic, multi-racial government came into being in 1994.

The Bible does, however, mention homosexuality, and that’s why Dirkie van der Spuy, of the DRC in Moreleta Park, Pretoria, found himself in the city’s High Court this week trying to explain why his church had given its music teacher, Johan Strydom, 31, the boot.

According to Pretoria News, Strydom has launched a damages claim against the church, claiming about R150 000 (ÂŁ10,000) in damages for “the impairment of his dignity”, as well as a further R50 000 ÂŁ3,500) for loss of income.

His case comes within weeks of a gay church employee in the UK, Stephen Price, winning damages for discrimination.

During often stormy proceedings, the court heard that the Pretoria Church wanted their gay music teacher to “free himself” from his “sin” - either by changing his ways or living a celibate life without impure thoughts about men.

Strydom stood his ground, insisting that he did not have to repent for being gay, as that was the way God had made him and he was comfortable with his sexuality.

In January 2005, Strydom entered into an oral agreement with the church to give music lessons to young students at the congregation’s music academy.

He worked happily for a couple of months and was described by his supervisor, Janie de Bruin, as a being a first class music teacher.

But in July of that year, word reached the church via an “anonymous call” that Strydom was in a homosexual relationship. He has been with his partner for eight years.

The council of the congregation demanded to speak to him about his sexuality, but Strydom refused. He maintained that it was a matter between him and God and that it had nothing to do with his work. He said he was not even a member of the Moreleta Park congregation, but merely in their employ.

Van der Spuy told Judge Dion Basson that Strydom knew how they felt on the gay issue and that it had been Strydom’s duty to divulge the fact that he was a homosexual.

Van der Spuy then trotted out some time-worn old Christian bilge about “loving the sinner, but hating the sin”, and said the church wanted Strydom to undergo “therapy”.

It is an act of love to reach out to such a person. God in fact loves sinners but he speaks to them through the Bible to realise their wrongs.

Van der Spuy said no outside opinions mattered, as God had clearly pronounced on the subject of gayness in the Bible.

When confronted with the fact that the DRC had at one time justified apartheid, but had changed its stance in this regard and asked for forgiveness, he said this may be so, but apartheid was not mentioned in the Bible, while homosexuality was clearly pronounced on.

The DRC now appears to have reinvented itself - but needs to go that extra mile to rid itself of its deeply-ingrained homophobia.

NOTE: I have one thing to be grateful to the DRC for. It taught me at a very early age how vile religion could be, and ensured that, by the age of 13, I was a militant, outspoken, uncompromising atheist.

Posted by Barry Duke @ 8:10 pm

Non-Jew awarded damages for not being served kosher food in jail

YET another one for the “You Couldn’t Make it Up” archives …

Michael Fegans began a prison sentence in Arkansas in 1991 for aggravated robbery, second-degree battery, and attempted escape.

He entered the state Department of Correction a Baptist, but then converted to a sect called the Assemblies of Yahweh, which requires its members to follow Old Testament law. Though not an Jewish organisation, we understand, AoY insists that  Jewish feast days be observed. They include: Passover, Days of Unleavened Bread, Pentecost (Shavuot), Feast of Trumpets, Fast of Atonement (Yom Kippur), Feast of Tabernacles and the Last Great Day.

From that point on Fegans, now in his 50s, stopped cutting his hair and beard, and began demanding kosher meals. For his failure to submit to the prison grooming rules, he was disciplined, and was never given a kosher diet.

A kosher knockwurst, Mr Fegans?

A kosher knockwurst, Mr Fegans?

So in 2003 he sued the prison for violating his religious rights with regard to grooming and food. He lost the grooming part of his law suit, but was awarded $1,500 dollars for being served non-kosher grub.

Fegans appealed the decision by US District Judge James Moody, who found that the prison’s grooming policy didn’t violate Fegans’ right to religious freedom because the facial-hair rule kept inmates from changing their appearance.

Furthermore, long beards and long hair could be used to hide contraband.

Fegans decided to appeal the decision, but this week his appeal was dismissed by a majority of 2-1 US Circuit judges who upheld Judge Moody’s verdict.

In his appeal, Fegans also complained that the amount of damages he had been awarded was insufficient – that it amounted to just $1. 44 per meal.

He demanded punitive damages as well.

The appeal judges disagreed, and Little Rock attorney David Bowden, representing Fegans, said he was considering taking the appeal all the way to the US Supreme Court, if necessary – even though Fegans is now in federal prison near Memphis, where he isn’t required to cut his hair, regularly receives kosher meals and is leading a Bible study class.

Note: The knockwurst pictured really is kosher.

Posted by Barry Duke @ 12:00 pm

God gets Victoria off the hook

TELEVANGELIST’S wife, Victoria Osteen has been cleared by a Houston, Texas, jury of assaulting Continental Airlines flight attendant Sharon Brown.

Sharon Brown, left, leaves court

Sharon Brown, left, leaves court

Said Joel Osteen at the conclusion of the case:

It’s a great vindication and shows us the faithfulness of God.

No Joel, it simply shows that the jury didn’t buy Brown’s story.

According to Yahoo News, they rejected Brown’s claims that Victoria Osteen threw her against a toilet door and elbowed her in the left breast while attempting to rush the cockpit because she was angry that a stain on her seat was not quickly cleaned up.

Joel Osteen, whose church draws about 42,000 a week for services and whose TV show and books are popular around the world, said he and his family hold no ill will toward Brown and they have prayed for her.

Brown quickly left the courtroom without talking to reporters, but in a brief statement her attorney Reginald McKamie read, she said.

We gave the truth to the jury. We are happy we had an opportunity to try our case.

Joel and Victoria Osteen – elated at the jury's verdict

Joel and Victoria Osteen – elated at the jury's verdict

In his closing argument, McKamie told jurors that because of Victoria Osteen’s status as a religious leader, she felt she had “favour from God.” That led her to believe she was above reproach for humiliating and assaulting his client, he said.

Brown had been seeking at least $405,000 for actual damages — physical and mental pain as a result of an attack she alleged took place before the start of a December 2005 flight from Houston to Vail, Colorado.

The jury’s foreman, Gilles Labbe, said he and other jurors believed what happened on the plane was not an attack but a disagreement between a passenger and one or more flight attendants.

Besides money for actual damages, Brown had requested punitive damages amounting to 10 percent of Victoria Osteen’s net worth as part of her lawsuit.

Posted by Barry Duke @ 3:00 pm

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